Dating and fake hair

I had my first weave experience, and I really have no idea how girls do it. It’s heavy, gives you headaches, you have to make sure your track isn’t showing, and really it’s just not appealing in the dating world. Let me explain.

Being a color-head that I once was, I used to bleach my hair a very blonde color on my natural dark brown hair. It was a straining process. Causing my follicles to become more porous, taking forever to dry either using a blow dryer, hair dryer, or flat iron. So, when I got the idea that I wanted to have purple hair (I work in a creative industry and can do whatever I want with my tresses — thank goodness), I knew that I didn’t want to go through the bleach process all over again after being a natural brunette for two years. Hence, I subjected myself to hair extensions in order to achieve my desired purple highlights. After several failed attempts of trying to add a purple tint on my own dark hair, I was quite happy with the add-ins.

On the first day after adding the extensions, I had a dinner date with a guy who I was seeing for a bit. Something low-key and casual, just a dinner at his place. Regardless, I wanted to still be cute and have my hair done. So, I made sure that my tracks looked good with a bouncy curl. However, after dinner I couldn’t take it anymore. The added weight of the extensions was giving me a headache and the pull of the clip-ins was annoying me at a new level that I had not ever experienced. So, yes, in the middle of our conversation I told this guy, “Please don’t judge me for what I’m about to do.” And yes, I pulled those tracks right out of my head and laid them on the coffee table. Call me ratchet if you want, but that shit hurt. Lucky for me, he passed no judgment and we carried on like everything was normal.

So, this is when I have to ask the other ladies out in the world, how on Earth do you wear extensions on a consistent basis? (This does not include braid or lock extensions.) My respect has definitely grown for women who handle their upkeep and the whole “beauty can be painful” deal. But really, bigger questions come into play. When you’re casually dating someone, do you let them know that you’re wearing fake hair? What happens at night if you’re intimate with one another? What if he/she wants to pull your hair — how does that work out? Is hair pulling not involved? Even on a less kinky note, what about when you two simply fall asleep? Do you wrap it all up? What if you simply want to scratch your head, how do you always keep him from seeing the track? Okay, let’s say that you never tell your significant other about it and one day, you just want to wear your natural hair. Come on, they’re going to ask something. Is this okay?


There was another instance where I went out with a guy and he gave me a hug. I was so concerned about his monstrous bear hug pulling out my tracks, I had to practically do a Matrix-yoga move to ensure that a piece wouldn’t catch on his arm and get pulled out. This stuff requires so much care, it’s like a pet. When I tried to re-position myself to make sure that he didn’t catch my hair, it automatically went into his mind that I was being some diva who couldn’t mess up her ‘do. No! I just didn’t want to be one of those girls who loses a track on the ground and everyone else looks down and goes, “EWWW!” Seriously, we’ve all seen it.

Even more so, what about the guys who like to play in their girls’ hair? I find it soothing, but I’m sure that it doesn’t do the same justice if you have 10 tracks zigzagging throughout. You can feel the seams winding on your scalp like a fresh quilt, and I’m sure it’s far from sexy for most guys. Or is it? Maybe they treat it like a crown. I don’t know.

Being a previous pageant girl, I was used to the other girls wearing extensions for a special occasion. These contestants would pack on the layers to give the image that they had thick, full heads of healthy hair. I even nearly combatted with a coach about wanting me to get extensions. I liked my natural hair and I wanted to sleep comfortably at night without putting those clips in and out everyday.

Granted, I love the extra length and the fact that I can change my color whenever I want. They make me feel princess-y and dainty, but really, how can sex ever happen with these in? How can walking down the street ever happen carelessly? How can standing during a strong wind not make you scared that your hair will blow out? It frightens me. Finding loose strands on his pillow is one thing, but a whole track that may’ve slipped out kind of freaks me out. Well, of course, I’m also the girl who unclipped her weave during a dinner date, so I’m not one to judge whatsoever.

2 Replies to “Dating and fake hair”

  1. I totally agree with “say no to weave.” Every guy I’ve dated I’ve asked the question, “Do you like weave?” Their response, “If you can grow it naturally, you don’t need a weave.” I can’t imagine having a great sex life and wearing a weave. My man LOVES putting his fingers through my hair. I enjoy seeing my scalp too much to cover it up with pounds of tracks. My beautician tells me all the time that once you try it you will be hooked. I’ve yet to try and doubt I’ll ever try it at this point. As long as I have hair on my head that grows naturally I won’t cover, sew or pin in any weave.


  2. Well. My eczema and dry scalp wouldnt allow for any kind of weave AND the price of “good” weave hair. yeh, I definitely could pay off some bills. I suppose I don’t judge those who do wear them, but just not for me.


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